Separation is one of the most difficult times in one’s life. You may feel like your whole world is falling apart and that you will never be good enough for anyone else. You get angry with yourself, your ex, everyone around you. Seeing couples makes you sick to your stomach and you have an insatiable jealousy of all your engaged friends and family. Of course, getting your ex back is on your mind all the time. You think of many ways to get your ex back into your life. Some are desperate, others pathetic.

Here are some ways to help you get back together with your ex and save face in the process.

One way to get your ex back is to sit down with a journal or piece of paper. List all of your ex’s positive traits as well as the negatives. Think about why the relationship ended and think about the mistake of ending. Try not to place the blame at this point. Think honestly and put yourself in your ex’s shoes. Understand that there are times when a breakup is unavoidable and also understand that a breakup is mostly about indifference.

Think of ways to change yourself for the better. If you have bad habits like smoking, try to quit now. Avoid any unnecessary drinking and other forms of drug use during this time. Get in touch with who you are as a person. If you’re trying to get your ex back, showing up as a pathetic mess isn’t going to get you anywhere. Once you have completed this part, go ahead and move on.

Take a day and get a pick-me-up. From personal experience, after a breakup there is nothing better than being pampered like a queen for a day. Go get a new hair color and/or a new haircut. Buy yourself a new outfit, get a massage and a facial wax. Also, go ahead and get a manicure and pedicure.

Once you’ve rooted with a little retouching, take yourself out on the town with a few of your friends and enjoy life. Go see a movie you wanted to see. Go out and have dinner, or go out to relax. When you get home, think about how much quality time you had, and if you have to, write it down to think about it later.

Once you’ve worked your magic, let the world work on its own. If the relationship was meant to be, your ex will be back faster than you can blink an eye. Getting your ex back is totally possible but you need to know how to play this game. There is not much room for errors!